When the Hotel is Falling Down...

... don't blame it on the bell boy.

Before you start blaming your staff, especially your most junior staff, look at the numbers. As our American friends say, "Do the math." Why don't we look at a few together in this example (basically true, but changed hugely to protect identities)? Just to get you started.

One Third

They're going through the long, expensive and legally dangerous process of firing this guy. For incompetence. I bet he feels great. They hired him on a fixed-term contract at permanent wages, so I'd say paying roughly ONE THIRD of the going market rate. Guess what? Even in the depths of a recession it was hard to find someone. Guess what? When they did, he wasn't exactly a hi-flyer.

Two Hundred Percent, Four Million Pounds

Way before our troublesome junior even started with the company somebody promised the client that the company could triple the client's sales. That's right, increase sales by TWO HUNDRED PERCENT. For the client, that meant an increase in turnover of FOUR MILLION POUNDS.

Of course, the person that made that promise is now long gone.

One Hundred Times

And it's now the job of the junior member of staff to deliver on a promise of ONE HUNDRED TIMES his salary for the client in just twelve months.

Zero

Guess what? It didn't happen. And it became so obvious, so quickly, that it wasn't going to happen that the client pulled out and asked for their money back.

And so they shake their heads. While leafing through the guidelines on dismissal for incompetence, they say that they're very disappointed in the junior's performance. They say they were mislead. The junior lied on his CV, well he didn't actually lie but overstated his skills. Really? Whoever heard of such a thing? Who could possibly test it or take it into account in the interview process?

And what were his chances in succeeding in the job that he'd been given?

ZERO

Firing or disciplining your junior staff when things go wrong is going to teach you a lot about employment law, and perhaps the law surrounding wrongful dismissal, but it won't make you any better at your job. I know, I know there are some bad apples, but very often, not all the time, but more often that you'd like to admit, the system has created the problem with your employee. You're supposed to be managing at least some part of that system. Before you start reaching for the phone and ringing HR maybe it would be a good idea to take a look at the numbers and see if they add up.

Private Lynndie England, not the sharpest tool in the box

Some real life examples that don't add up:

• Torture in the Abu Grhaib prison is blamed on "bad apples" such as Private Lynndie England, a woman so stupid she can barely breathe. Curious how she managed to come up with a whole raft of psychological warfare techniques pioneered by the CIA in the 1960's all by herself.


• A double murder is partly blamed on a parole officer who had been in the job 9 months and had a case load of 127 cases.


• UPDATED 13/07/09: A PR disaster is blamed on an intern.

For further information, contact Mark@agilelab.co.uk (07736 807 604)

Interns: New Ideas, New Faces, New Energy

This is a reply to a post on the London Java Community Forum, I thought it was worth posting here, since it is indeed intern season and I have a bit of knowledge (and fond memories) of having interns myself.

Hi Barry,

Re: Interns, this has turned into a long response: I realise that it's something I'm quite passionate about.

I used to run the interns programme at Xerox Research Centre Europe in Cambridge. During the course of 4 years, I had 4 interns and organised maybe half a dozen interns for other members of staff. I found it to be terrifically useful way of investigating new ideas and doing solid pieces of development that you know need doing but can't seem to get around to (e.g. developing tools that will help you do your main job better - trying out new ideas). Put simply, interns don't have to turn up to all the meetings that you have to turn up, they aren't there long enough. They can be left alone to focus on doing just one thing and so can progress much quicker. They also have youthful enthusiasm and energy - they don't know any better, this can be a good way of injecting some life into a jaded team (one intern that someone else took on at Xerox organised the most amazing candlelit punt from Cambridge to Grantchester - it was a great team-building exercise, far better than go-carting or paintballing).

We also used internships at Xerox as an opportunity to give more junior members of the lab some experience of management. They'll be rubbish at it at first, but it's a very good, and revealing "trainer wheels" experience.

I would also say that this is an opportunity to try out hiring someone who doesn't have a cookie cutter CV and just see how it works out. My advice would be to hire the person with the CV that jumps out at you, irregardless of academic institution/qualifications. Hire a Medieval Historian or a Philosophy student (I'm maybe biased because this is my background). I do know other people in the industry who say that Philosophers make the best programmers. The best intern that I had had a degree in fine art and no technological experience whatsoever, the portfolio she sent me literally made me wince when I looked at it (pictures of decaying meat), but she produced three concept video in as many months which ended being shown at "C-Level" meetings and the ideas in them being used as part of merger and acquisition discussions.

Interns are also an excellent opportunity to try out pair programming (http://www.agile-lab.co.uk/2008/09/loneliness-of-self-taught-programmer.html) with someone who's none threatening and ready to learn.

The only BAD THING I can think of in relation to interns is if you are going to treat them as cheap/free labour. They're not trained, they don't know what you do if you think you can bring them in to do the dull bits of your job without you having to put in any effort, you'll be disappointed.

Hire the brightest one you can find and have fun.

If you're looking to apply for an internship - yes, put down your academic qualifications, but understand, especially in the current climate, that isn't going to make you stand out. I looked at a *lot* of CV's from Cambridge University Computer Scientists, I hired a woman from Winchester who sent me pictures of meat. Put down the strangest achievement that you have (that you're proud of) and label it. If you don't have a weird experience like this, go have one right now.

Regards,

Mark Stringer.

P.S. Just remembered that I had another fabulous intern when I was at Sussex. She was much more talented than me and instantly capable of implement things that I was just kind of dreaming about doing - and there's no way I could have ever got her input at any later stage in her career, she was destined for stardom. Handled properly, interns are a terrific way of getting a lot done in a really short time, good for you, good for them.

For further information, contact Mark@agilelab.co.uk (07736 807 604)